i've never needed a reason for keeping secrets from myself [Game Changers, Hollanov, oneshot]

i've never needed a reason for keeping secrets from myself by blongblong 

Shane’s immediate reaction is to say that he doesn't know when it started. He doesn’t know who his soulmate is. This is what he’s been telling himself for years, because if he stops for more than a second to think about how long he's been collecting little pieces of Ilya Rozanov, he thinks he'll spiral out of control. 

He'll hit the deck like a firecracker dropped unceremoniously onto the sidewalk, burning wildly and spiralling haphazardly, until he's fizzled out with nothing left to show for himself but smoke, ashes, and the knowledge that his soul is bound to Rozanov's. 

or: 

shane spends twenty-five years not thinking about his soulmate. the drawer in his apartment filled with cigarettes, toothpaste, and awful t-shirts says elsewise.

There is a sequel to this:

what you want, what you need (has been killing me)

And even that is more than good, like this one. These both are masterpieces.

For some reason I really like the whole soulmate take with these two idiots. Its all about how they deserve each other and all the happiness in the world. And million other things. The other thing is that there are these weird, new (at least to me) soulmate tropes that I keep finding. 

But like. This makes sense. In a weird way. How they dont talk about it, how it just exist and how they are in love and whatnot. Somehow still just avoiding the whole topic in a case they are not each other's soulmate. Kinda goes with the idea about two guys who actually suck at talking about important things.

There is just nothing in this fic that I didnt like. Seriously nothing. Everything was just so pure cuteness and awesomeness and everything lovely. Just perfect in every way. 

How could I reset my brain again so I could be able to read this for the first time again? Maybe in a few months I have forgotten enough so I can enjoy this the way this is supposed to be enjoyed.  

the limitations of maddocks questions [Game Changers, Hollanov]

the limitations of maddocks questions by viviolet  

when shane gets the injury that would come to end his career, in the moment he’s just thankful he didn’t break his jaw. 

or: shane knew, in the abstract, that one day he would play his last professional nhl game. it never occurred to him that hockey would choose that day for him.

The thing is. I didnt think I would be crying this bad at the end. I didnt even cry before the end if chapter four. But I just couldnt stop in the fifth. Fuck. I am still crying and still feeling this. 

The other thing is that I somewhat know what this whole thing really feels like. Not in the capasity that you have given your whole life to it but almost everything else. And maybe thats the biggest reason I just cant stop crying. And the reason that I just wont be reading this ever again, never. I cant go trough this again. 

Other than all of that. I really loved how this is written from Shane's point of view. I loved every single cap there was in the story, how it all seemed like a fog and how you were kind of just out of it. Everything happened there somewhere but Shane's brain couldnt process almost any of it. So the story didnt process some of it and you only found out about a lot of it later on 

There has had to be a fuck ton of planning ahead of this fic. Everything felt just so peaceful all the time, kind of a really surreal way. Which yea. At the end it all just came crashing down. 

To be honest. I thought this would be more about the life Shane has after retairnment and less about the months (weeks? days?) leading to retairnment. But I still more than loved this take. More than loved every second of it. Every word and every take and just every single part of this fic. 

Diamond, Gold and Platinum. [F1, Landoscar, oneshot]

Diamond, Gold and Platinum. by deletedaccountjustkiddingunless 

Lando saw one message—“which gives off more engagement ring energy: diamond, gold, or platinum?”—from his best mate, his ride-or-die, his official roommate and teammate Oscar… and instantly spiralled into a full-blown identity crisis, an emotional implosion, and possibly a parallel dimension where nothing made sense anymore.

I dont know if I am crying or laughing. Probably both. Yea. Both. 

And I just cant. This perfection. The spiraling. The dating. Everything. MAX. Max is the best. And!this dumb little fruitcake being in denial. 

Just everything. I just love Lando in every single fic. How unhinged, out of this world he is. Just. Love everything. I want this version of him to be sacred and kept in a bubble. Just dont destroy it. Just dont. I dont wanna know anything but the fic version of him. Nothing else. 

I do like Oscar too. I like my little headcanon of him being this autistic boy who just surviving Lando's schenanings every day and trying to understand what the fuck is going on. 

These two little sweet boys. 

clear to a hedgehog [Game Changers, Hollanov, oneshot, nc-17]

clear to a hedgehog by magneticwave 

Every Boston Raider knows that although their captain has a girl in every port, he’s got a soft spot for the one in Montreal. Dr. Shane Hollander knows it’s better to have a semi-regular source of casual sex than try to make a relationship work during residency. Ilya Rozanov knows that the doctor he’s fucking in Montreal is unaware that he plays hockey, and in fact probably thinks he’s Bratva.

The problem I have is that I dont know if I want more of this world, this AU or if I want mafia AU with Rozanov being the mafia boss. So maybe we have to go with both. Both is good. Yes. 

But in all seriouslysness. I love the way Ilya is here, the way this is written, how everything is describled. Just love all of it. Everything. 

Even our nice Canadian boy Shane is just pure perfectness. Ah. 

The time jumps, the rookies, the way everything is and how they talk but dont talk. Hockey. Whatnot. Everything. Can I just go and be super fangirling over this the rest of my life? Pretty please and thank you. 

my love's ugly bloom [Game Changers, Hollanov, oneshot]

my love's ugly bloom by Anonymous 

Shane sends him a text that says 'thinking about your cock' with a picture of his rippling abs, and even though Ilya really appreciates the abs, all he can think about is the faint bruise blooming on Shane's ribs, and whether it hurts him very badly, and whether there's anything Ilya could do to make it hurt less, if he were there. He wants to be there, he realizes. He wants to be there for the rest of his life. 

He has to duck out of the team weight room so he can cough up a fistful of petals. 

So. 

- 

Or: Ilya gets Hanahaki disease.

I have read way too many Hanahaki fics recently. At some point I even looked for then specifically for those. Just. There is a small part in me who just wants to cry and suffer. 

There is this one thing I cant get over in these fics, what if they fall out of love? Like. They just dont work out anymore, what then? Does the Hanahaki come back or what? 

 

Okay. Thats not really a problem with these two idiots or in fics general. But just something that bothers me sometimes. 

 

This fic is just Ilya being an idiot even when I can actually understand him and the reasoning behind everything. And a lot of feels, sad feels, all the feelings. Fuck. But happy ending is always a plus. The journey getting there is just extra painful.