The Crow's Nest [Game Changers, Hollanov, Cliff-centric]

The Crow's Nest by robbinscinquefoil 

 Cliff would probably remember if he was there when Ilya met a woman so earth-shattering that he would chase after her for nearly a decade. Probably. Cliff thinks he would probably notice something as life-altering as a meeting like that. Who on earth is this woman and how did they find each other? Did Cliff watch Ilya’s life change before his eyes and not even realize what was happening? 

In the fall of 2017, Cliff Marlow notices evidence of Jane all over Ilya’s apartment. He decides to investigate.

These fics are breaking my heart. They are not making me cry or anything else. They are just breaking my heart. 

My heart breaks for Cliff and him basically losing his best friend. For Ilya for never letting himself have that support he actually have in Boston. And little bit for Shane, but thats just me wishing Shane gets better group of people around him. 

And now I really want to read a fic where everyone ends up in Boston. I do have one big monster fic in progress on my Kobo but its been there for a few months and I still havent started reading it. I will. At some point. 

In the mean time I'll just keep breaking my own heart over and over again. 

everytime i leave [Game Changers, Hollanov]

everytime i leave by fckingfreckles 

ilya rozanov did not plan on spending the majority of his rookie season in the hospital. then again, he did not plan on shane hollander either. 

__ or, the whump fic. based on my own tweet: a fic where 17 year old shane is a [redacted] ill patient and ilya is the rookie his team drags to the children's hospital. he falls in love with freckles and can't stop visiting shane every chance he gets.

This one has been on my TBR list forever. I didnt think I would be emotionally ready to read this and fuck was I right. Nowhere near am I emotionally ready for this. And now Im reading the sequel and just fucking crying.  

I love their connection here. I love how Shane's illness is describled and how it affects Ilyan. I love everything about this world and how it exist on paper (screen, whatever). It just works and is so beautiful. Its sad, like life is sad and unfair. But doesn't mean this couldn't possibly be as beautiful as it is.

Was it worth to read finally? Fuck yea. 

Do I need to read more fics from my TBR? Probs. Will I? We will see. 

we'll be afraid of nothing [Game Changers, Hollanov, oneshot]

we'll be afraid of nothing by satorussuguru 

 “Game is over,” he says. “You won. I lost. I was annoying. Normal.” 

“That’s not—” Shane starts, then stops, because he actually doesn't know how to finish that thought without sounding like an idiot. His jaw works, teeth grinding together. That's not what I meant. 

That's not the point. You said I was boring and you were right and I need you to say it again so I know where I stand, so I know what you think of me, so I can stop waiting for the other shoe to drop. 

He settles for: “You were kind of an asshole.”

Thank you for this fucking existensial crisis that I now have. And the tears. Whatever.  

solnyshko [Game Changers, Hollanov]

solnyshko by angel_deux 

Ilya Rozanov wakes up from a medically induced coma, sixteen months into a mission to save the dying sun, and he can't remember a single one of his crewmates. 

He's immediately drawn to one of them, though. Too bad Hollander won't give him the time of day. 

SCIFI IS HERE. Goddamn it. The best of everything is here.

One thing Im gonna praise is how his amnesia is written here. I love everything about it. All those little details he remember, how everything starts to make sense little by little and then it doesnt make any sense anymore. I love the little flash back.

But most of fucking everything, I love how this is Ilya centric, Ilya POV fanfic. There is not enough of these. Nowhere near enough. There are fics where there a lot of different POVs but not 100 % Ilya centric, and I want to read more of those. And then on top of that scifi. Ah. Let me be in heaven right now.

This is perfection. All of this. This is my new favorite fic of all time. I love, love, love, love this.

Kickstart [Game Changes, Hollanov, nc-17]

Kickstart by sweet_s0rr0w 

Dr Shane Hollander knows exactly where his life is headed. He’s back at Mass Gen, chief resident on the Harvard OB/GYN program, his dream fellowship spot all but guaranteed. All he has to do is keep his head down, log plenty of cases, and see the year out. 

But then a disastrous first day leads to a drunken hookup, and then the stranger Shane left in the bar walks into his OR the next morning. Naturally, the guy's a total asshole. Even worse, he's a brilliant surgeon. 

So much for Shane keeping his head down... 

One of those things that I started to read while still WIP. I really struggeled with myself if I should start to read this or not. Right now I have like five WIP fics that Im waiting to be continued and I hate the waiting, I hate how I forget most of the fic while waiting and then when it gets updated I have to go back and re-read the last chapters.

So. This whole thing is not for me. But. Im still really, really glad I started this. 

In the beginning I was thinkin about how this would be some kind of Grey's Anatomy inspired fic. Thank god this wasnt. Im not really ready to go back to that fandom anytime soon.

But this turned out to be so much more. This is more about how Shane is kind of blind to his surroundings and how narrative is not always straight forward and, most important, they are humans after all. They make mistakes, they are still trying to find themselves and they just want to be together.

Can I re-read this now?