Promises never made [Game Changers, Hollanov, oneshot]

Promises never made by ibumblebee 

If this is what Hollander is willing to give him, he will take it. It won’t be enough, not by a long shot, but if this is the little part of him he is allowed to have, by God he will take it. 

OR, Shane messages Ilya a few days after the tuna melt scene. Ilya is trying to not scare him away again. He will restrain himself. He will take what Shane gives him and never ask for more. Just please, he can’t see him walk out of his life again.

I knew I was gonna cry and I still read this. And reallt loved every single word of this. Yes. It broke me, but in a really, really good way.  

Pour Decisions [Game Changers, Hollanov, oneshot]

Pour Decisions by hermacology 

Hayden Pike and his group chat of coworkers are pretty sure their new manager Shane has a parasocial obsession with a professional hockey player. 

He talks about him constantly, knows everything about him, watches every game, and even has candid photos of him that are definitely not available through conventional sources. So naturally, they decide to intervene to find him a man who actually knows he exists. 

Shane, for his part, has no idea what they're talking about.

Right now Im just really surprised I can still find good fics that I have not read. Like almost every day I can find something good and new in this fandom. In every other fandom I would be bored and read all the good stuff already. But not here. 

It even sounds better when I say that there is a good sequel (prequel?) to this fic. And I really liked it. 

Fuck. Like. Yea. 

I do want more Svetlana lore in here somewhere. But other than that, this is perfect. Hayden is perfect. The sequel (or whatever) makes this even better. And fuck. Yea. 

Baby, Bend Over [Game Changers, Hollanov]

Baby, Bend Over by TemporaryAltars 

Shane is convinced that Ilya Rozanov—captain of the Boston Bears and Shane’s newest student—hates him. 

Ilya joined Shane's yoga class specifically to get closer to the hot instructor, but every attempt at flirting only seems to make things worse. 

Neither of them has any idea the other is completely in love with them.

I hate this fandom for one reason and one reason only (okay I probs could find more reasons but Im lazy). I can always see myself in Shane, in one or another. I can understand him way too well, can relate to him and so on. Which is a first for me. Seriously. 

Maybe thats also the reason why I keep reading these fics and loving them so much. Mostly Im just over the series and cant be bothered to rewatch or reread the books. But the fics. 

Yea. This one just hit me the right way. No clue even why. But yea. I should be working and being a functional adult, instead Im reading these two fuckers fall in love again and again. 

Barbe-Q&A [Game Changers, Hollanov, oneshot]

Barbe-Q&A by prailock 

In their first summer after being outed, Shane finally accepts that invite to Bood's backyard barbecue. It could have been a relaxing night. But Ilya's brought vodka. And the Centaurs brought questions. Might as well rip off the band aid before he signs with Ottawa.  Or How many shots is it worth to know what your Captain likes in bed?

I had my doubts because of Reddit (yea where else could I find good fics nowdays if not from Reddit?). I dont like the recommends over there, or maybe I like about 25% of them. Maybe 30%. But I always try to give them an opportunity and keep an open mind for them. Still. Yeah. Im picky. 

ANYWAYS. This just got better and better the further I got. Usually its the other way around. Not this time. Seriously. So goooood.  

Historic Recurrence [Merlin, Merthur]

Historic Recurrence by KlavierWrites 

Every 500 years or so, Merlin would meet a reincarnated Arthur, Morgana, Gwen and assorted knights. Every time, Merlin and Arthur would become friends, Morgana would betray them, and Arthur would pick Gwen. Merlin was getting kind of sick of it, actually. (Merlin/Arthur, university fic)

Me trying to figure out all the Merthur fics I have left here without blogging about them. There are a lot of them. And this one. No clue actually.

I liked this one back in the day, I still do. I just. I really wish this was longer and the writer would take more time with shit. Just because I need more of everything. I need to know about all the past lives, how they all were different and similiar. How Merling deals with reincarnated people. How he keeps with everything.

Seriously. I just need a lot more. Maybe I just have to get back to this fandom and reread everything. Maybe. Idk. 

To Remember [F1, LandOscar, oneshot]

To Remember by piastrification (goldenflora)  

When Oscar starts to cough up daisy petals, he finds that there is more than one way to forget. He doesn’t want to forget for a lifetime, he thinks- just every once in a while.  

The alternative ending to “To Forget”.

To be honest, I dont know which I prefer. I really would love to say that this one. But maybe Im just a sucker for punishment and I prefer the other one. 

Besides all that. I still love Hanahaki stories. Maybe I just love to cry and suffer. Maybe.  

the boy who blocked his own shot [Game Changers, Hollanov, oneshot]

the boy who blocked his own shot by alasse

Ilya’s dad dies right before the 2017 All-Star Game, so he never learns that Shane and Rose broke up. While he’s in Russia, a threat from his brother makes him ask Svetlana for help and marry her so he can get a US green card—it’s meant to be a discreet, simple thing, but the Boston tabloids get a hold of it and then it’s all over social media. Three months later, Shane Hollander holds a press conference to share two things: he's leaving Montreal to play for the Ottawa Centaurs, and he's gay.

This is way too short. I need more and deeper and I need to know what happens next. Okay. I need to know what actually happened in those four or something years. I need details and longer fics. 

What I dont need is to cry and destroy my emotional balance every day. Fuck fanfics. Fuck this fandom. Fuck everything about this hyperfocus. Seriously. 

Tubes of Neon Light, Refracted [Game Changers, Hollanov, nc-17]

Tubes of Neon Light, Refracted by bluerosebouquet  

His entire body felt tense as the door was pushed open. He trained his eyes on the floor, monologuing before he could stop himself, 

“Just so you know, my buddies paid for this dance for me and I’m sure you’re very nice and very pretty and good at what you do but I’m actually gay so you can just- Do what you need to do but I don’t want you to be offended because I’m not as into this as you’re probably…usually…used to…” 

He trailed away as he looked up, and met the eyes of the very tall, very broad, very handsome man leaning against the doorframe.  

They stared at each other, and Shane blinked, struck dumb. 

Or, the night of JJ's bachelor party, Shane is forced into a lap dance he very much does not want. Until he does, and everything changes.

This is not even that sad. But I was still crying almost straight from the beginning. Maybe this hit some a really sore spot somewhere deep in me. Probably. 

Or maybe I see a little bit too much of myself in Shane and cannot not be normal about anything. Something. 

What The Fuck Is An Elder Queer [Game Changers, Skip, Hollanov]

What The Fuck Is An Elder Queer by luulapants  

Rozanov made a dismissive noise. “No, no, I will pick you up. Send me your address.”   

“I’m not giving you my home address.” 

“Why not!” 

“Because you’ll probably post it on social media to psych me out before our next game.”  

That made Rozanov laugh. “It is good idea,” he said. Stopped laughing. Started again. Blew out a breath like he had to get himself together. “I might do this to you,” he allowed, “but you have nice boyfriend living with you now. I would not do this to him. You are safe.” 

In which Ilya Rozanov adopts himself into Scott and Kip's household and refuses to leave. Kip finds this very sweet. Scott is going to kill him.

For a moment there I thought this was the foursome fic where they all get together and live happily ever after. I have not planned on reading that, but after this, now Im reconsidering. 

This on the other hand is just fullsome friendship fic where everyone is just a buddybuddy with each other. And basically move in together as roommates. Yep. 

cardiac tamponade [Game Changers, Hollanov]

cardiac tamponade by asthestarsforetold 

Cardiac tamponade: pressure on that heart that prevents it from filling and beating adequately. 

Shane thought he knew two things: his move to Ottawa would cause chaos, and that the Ottawa Centaurs were nice. 

As it turned out, he only knew one of those things. 

(Or: the Cens are still a team of professional hockey players. They're going to fuck up.)

Wanna cry? Then read this. 

I just wanted more when I finished this. More in story, more in how it continues and just more. But the thing is, this is and I get it now. Took me a moment, but its not gonna get worse or better or anything. This is it. 

The one thing that stuck with me about Shane was his autism here. It shone through everything even when it wasnt addressed. It was just one more thing that separated him from everyone else. Then there were all the other things that made him different and made everything harder. 

But fuck. 

This is kind of everything I have wanted to read about Shane not liking Troy. I know there is some kind of hate campaing going on about Troy. And I get it, I understand where its coming from and so on. So I have tried to find a fic where that is explored and part of the story. 

So thank you, whoever you were, who recommended this on reddit. Thank you. Now I can go and read this again (like I havent cried enough at is it).

best man code [Game Changers, Hollanov, oneshot]

best man code by midnighttypewriter 

Alright. Okay. He’s doing this. If he thinks about it, there could be worse places to come out than in a room full of people ready to scold him for a perceived use of a slur. 

--- 

Or: Ilya comes out to the Raiders. It takes Cliff Marlow some time, and many questions, but eventually he puts two and two together.

Best part of this fandom is how Marlow is always the most faithful friend to Ilya. Not the smartest or not even the one who keeps up with shit. But the best friend for Ilya. The guy who is always there, the one Ilya can always trust. Just the best of the best. At this point. I dont even remember what kind of person Marlow was in the books. I just love the fandom version of him.

Here he is just as awesome as always. And I may have read this like ten times already. So this is so worth it. One of the best oneshots I have read. Yep. 

lover, come over [Game Changers, Hollanov, oneshot]

lover, come over by LArtemys 

She's got her mouth open, too, ready to snap at him to leave, because Shane does not need this right now. He can come back, if he has to, when her son's less fucking vulnerable, high on painkillers and reeling from mood-swings; not that she thinks he will, which, good. Really, she's just about to, when Shane's voice sounds. 

"Ilyaaaaa!" he lets out delightedly. 

For another long moment, nobody moves. 

Rozanov's face has contorted. His brows are furrowed and he's looking only at Shane. Is he confused? Yuna's pretty damn confused. Because– 

"Il-yaaaa!" Shane repeats, loud and sounding – ecstatic, really. 

Absolutely ecstatic.

I dont read these hospital fics anymore. Not because they are bad or I dont enjoy them. There is just so many of them and they are literally blurring into one in my head. Maybe at some point I can try again. 

But I still opened this. I knew what was gonna happen and so on. Something just draw me in and I needed something to read while on lunch break. And this did not dissapoint. No wait. It did. Because it ended too soon. I want a sequel. 

Yea. There is nothing new or exciting. But this is good in a solid way and I always love Hollanov fics from other's POV. So thats everything I need in life. Yea.  

Have fun!

Count the Cost [Harry Potter, Drarry, Harry/Draco/Theodore, oneshot, nc-17]

Count the Cost by PricklyCauldron 

Harry doesn't want a soulmate and he especially doesn't want his soulmate to be Draco Malfoy. It's unfortunate that Draco will die if they don't complete their soulbond, but there isn't anything Harry can do about it besides sacrifice himself, and he just can't bear to do that anymore, especially for someone he doesn't even like. 

Harry wouldn't say he's jealous when he starts seeing Draco and Nott together, but maybe his feelings are a little more complicated than he cares to admit... 

This didnt go the way I thought. It was kind of weirder but at the same time better. Or maybe this was pure porn and there was just an excistensial crisis in there somewhere.

I am not even sure what I liked the best in here. I just liked the fic, the idea, the execution and how it was left kind of open. No real ending, happy or sad. Its just life, and even when life makes sense, it can still be messy. Yea. All that. 

he turns off the big light [Game Changers, Hollanov, oneshot]

he turns off the big light by gurlsrool 

Ilya knows firsthand that the world isn’t comfortable. It’s loud, bright, demanding, a harsh place in direct opposition to everything he’s recently learned about autism. 

Is it so wrong that he wants Shane to feel safe here? To carve out a space where, even if only for a few hours, he doesn’t have to grin and bear anything? He can just be? 

Or: Ilya Rozanov has a lot of good ideas. Telling his fuck buddy that he should consider getting an autism diagnosis isn’t one of them.

I am not crying, you are.  

This is not even sad! This is just finding yourself and understanding yourself and being okay with yourself. And its really okay to be autistic, you are not broken or wrong. You are just a little bit spicy. 

Yea. That. 

Tbh. I love that Shane is autistic in canon. And I love how this whole fandom is loving it and showing the love. Yea, I know. In canon Shane doesnt know that he is autistic but does it even matter? I dont really think most people really know that they have autism. So that. 

And Hayden is and will always be the biggest autism supporter ever. Yup. 

Pinged [Game Changers, Hollanov]

Pinged by halfbaked_ziti 

Harris hadn’t meant to say anything. He hadn’t even realized what he’d said, honestly, until Ilya’s reaction: choking on his beer, eyes bugging out, looking more nervous than Harris had ever seen him look. 

Why couldn’t he have just kept his mouth shut? He was tipsy, and probably a bit too comfortable, but still. He should have known better. He felt like the biggest asshole alive. 

Hold on. Rewind. Start from the beginning. 

Or: 

Five times Ilya Rozanov set off Harris Drover's gaydar (and Harris said nothing), + one time Harris completely put his foot in it 

(originally a one-shot, now updated to include a chapter 2/coda)

Harris is the best. He probs would even be my favorite if Ilya wasnt so menacing fairy gay godmother. Or something. 

Gaydar is also a real thing and people should trust it more. Yea. 

Spolia Victoris [Game Changers, Hollanov, oneshot, nc-17]

Spolia Victoris by OpalApparition 

“Does the Dominus enjoy serving a slave?” Ilya murmured. 

Shane looked up at him through dark lashes. His mouth was a hairsbreadth away from Ilya’s cock, and Ilya could see the exact moment the last of his composure burned out, shedding, the way a snake left its old skin behind, eyes bright and body underneath already new— 

—and instead of answering, Shane licked a stripe up the underside of his shaft, root to tip. 

The law calls Ilya a slave. The mob of Rome calls him their lion, their Gladiator. Senator’s son Shane calls him to his bed. 

Now Shane wants to call him free, but that means owning him first.

Yes. This is AU, just here to scratch my itch. More than it. This is perfect, getting things so deep and sounding right. I have no clue about anything related to Roman Empire and everything in English is just a little bit more unknown for me. 

But like. Ah. Can I have a sequel? I need sequel to everything. Yes. Get me everything awesome to read, thank you. 

Ilya Enchanted [Game Changers, Hollanov, oneshot]

Ilya Enchanted by Daisies_and_Briars 

A night out at the Kingfisher during a team roadtrip to New York leaves Ilya cursed with a truth spell. Worried this will ruin everything for Ilya and Shane and their very secret relationship, Ilya scrambles to break the curse before saying anything he can't take back. 

Finally a fic where the outside forces make them talk and make things better without everything going to shit. Okay. Things still kinda go shit and there is the threat of everything going even more shit. But the point. The point is that they can still (somewhat) control the outcome and how to do things. 

Also. This fandom needs more weird fairies to grant wishes (or do havock or something). Yes please. 

Freedom4Lily [Game Changers, Hollanov, oneshot]

Freedom4Lily by HollowIsTheWorld 

BREAKING NEWS: MHL star Shane Hollander photographed on his phone while out with his team in Las Vegas after a win, and the texts that can be seen suggest Montreal's 'Golden Boy' of hockey may not be the catch he's always appeared to be... [read more] 

Still pure crack cocaine. Just. Never ending supply of addicting drugs. 

#getLilyout [Game Changers, Hollanov, oneshot]

#getLilyout by viridescented

Emily @emilystwitterstuff21 
Shane Hollander being a physically and emotionally abusive boyfriend was not on my bingo card this year. What the fuck is going on?? 

Clara @hockeyfan101 
Of all hockey players it's SHANE HOLLANDER??? The golden boy of the NHL that does no wrong?? Omg. Istg men are trash. 

Or: everyone thinks Shane abuses his girlfriend Lily, and Yuna Hollander is not at all amused about, while Shane is just upset that his parents have such an issue with him being gay.

More crack to life! And texting fics! No wait. This is more twitter fic (X fic?). But the point stands still. All the points stand. 

I think this whole fandom is pure crack cocaine. Its way too addictive and it feels like Im a part of a cult. But. I am trying to read legit books now days too. Not just fanfiction. 

Trending: J.A.N.E.I.F.Y.'s New Song Just Dropped And We're All Asking - Who is J.A.N.E.I.F.Y.? [Game Changers, Hollanov]

Trending: J.A.N.E.I.F.Y.'s New Song Just Dropped And We're All Asking - Who is J.A.N.E.I.F.Y.? by sleepixgstars 

Shane loves his husband. He really does! But sometimes, it can be hard to put that love into words. 

So maybe, when he tried to put it into words, he ended up writing a couple songs. 

And maybe he released them under a fake name. 

And maybe they got insanely popular somehow.

 - 

AKA the one where Shane and Ilya are married and in love and Shane is a little insecure about his ability to love his husband. So he becomes a faceless pop sensation. By accident. Mostly? It's complicated. 

There are a zillion things that are just awesome, perfect in here. This is also really out of the left field. Like seriously so, so, so out there. Which just makes this so much better and unique.

The only thing I didnt like that much was fast this went. I would have loved to read more about Shane being anonymous and stressing about the songs and stressing about telling to anyone. Maybe even more songs. Yes, I just want the story to be longer. Thats it. This ended too early.

Why everything is just too short now days? Everything good ends way too early. I need more of everything. More, more and more.